(AP) Louisville, KY

In an interesting turn of events, the RFL’s Louisville Losers sold two of their three brand new injury flatbed trucks to the NFL’s Cleveland Browns Thursday morning. Many thought it was an unexpected transaction, since the Losers have been using the trucks steadily to pick up three of their starters already in the first few weeks of the season. Isiah Pacheco, Joe Mixon, and Evan Engram have all had the chance to go for a nice ride in one of the beautiful state-of-the-art vehicles.

”When Jimmy [Haslam] called, I told him no deal because I know in the next few weeks, we’re going to need all the trucks we can get when Lamar and Ceedee and Olave all go down too,” Seber told reporters late Thursday morning. “But he told me that he has 17 washed up old overrated offensive linemen hurt right now, in addition to about 36 other players on the team. And he gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

Terms of the deal have not fully been disclosed yet, but rumors are that Haslam paid $82.6 million for each truck. “Everyone knows Jimmy has a lot of money from ripping off truckers for years. Plus anyone that’s willing to drop $230 million on a QB who averages 122 yards, 0.5 TDs, and 1.2 interceptions a game has some cash on hand. If he had to pay for a shiny new stadium, he’d only have a couple billion left, but luckily the Cleveland taxpayers are going to fund that because we all know poor and middle class families should do everything they can to help the rich get richer.”

Just for fun, the two pathetic excuses for owners decided to make a side bet as well while they were on the phone. “Yeah, we bet on who would have more losses after the first 14 weeks of the season, the Losers or the Browns. My money is on the Losers, even though the Browns will probably have 10 or 11 losses at that point,” Seber predicted. 

When asked what they wagered, Seber smiled and said, “I don’t want to get into too many details on that, but let’s just say I might have to wear a Browns shirt in public for a whole day and feel that shame if Deshaun keeps healthy and their receivers keep dropping balls and the overpaid overweight overaged offensive line keeps protecting for 0.2 seconds a snap and the defense blows coverages and the offense keeps getting penalties on every other play and Kevin keeps going for it on 4th and 12 and Kevin never runs the ball (even against the league’s worst rush defenses) and the rest of the defense can’t somehow get free and make any plays at all even though Myles is triple teamed on every play and the defense still has 1 turnover for the season by then.”