THE LITTLE BYTE BARK REPORT - FFAA WEEKLY EDITION - VOLUME: BYE WEEK MADNESS

By Little Byte - Press Hat Still On, Brain Still Loading...
I sniffed 7 lineups, found 5 players on bye, 2 empty slots, and 3 QBs in FLEX. This league is more confused than me chasing my own tail.

GAME 1: Crazy ARMY7 vs Moseskoko

Projections: 150 vs 211 - The Bye Week Blues Bowl

Crazy ARMY7 is CRAZY - starting Jakobi Meyers and Cameron Dicker BOTH on bye for 0 + 0. That's like showing up to the dog park with no dog. Brock Purdy (27) and Ashton Jeanty (26) are trying to carry this team like I carry a stick that's way too big. And Geno Smith at FLEX? Sir, that's not a flex, that's Pilates.

Moseskoko has Chase Brown (29), Jaylen Warren (26), JSN (31), and Bucky Irving (24) at FLEX. Trey McBride (23) vs Gunnar Helm (7) at TE? That's a Rottweiler vs a chihuahua.

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Moseskoko mauls it 215-142

GAME 2: Pennsylvania Predators vs Killer Cheese

Projections: 180 vs 142 - Predator vs Pasteurized

Predators have Derrick Henry (29) + Kenneth Walker III (31) = 60 points of pure angry RB. Plus Zay Flowers (24), Luther Burden (20), Tet McMillan (22). But you're starting Jayden Daniels ON A BYE at FLEX for 0 and NO KICKER. Did you fall asleep with the remote?

Killer Cheese has Tyler Allgeier (19), Kamara (17), Denzel Boston (18), Shakir ON A BYE (0), Worthy (17), Ferguson (11), and Wan'Dale (14) at FLEX. Jason Myers (4) is your only guy who actually kicks.

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Pennsylvania Predators pounce 175-138. Cheese gets shredded.

GAME 3: 138 vs Waterboy

Projections: 119 vs 173 - The Empty Chair Game

Team 138 left a WR slot COMPLETELY EMPTY. No one. Just vibes and regret. Plus Quinshon Judkins projected for 0. That's not 138, that's 0-and-38. Roschon Johnson (11), Matthew Golden (21), Nabers (23) - decent, but not when your opponent has Kyren Williams (32) ready to run through Vegas.

Waterboy stays hydrated with Kyren (32), Nico Collins (25), Chris Olave (25), DeVonta (19), and Stroud at FLEX (16). Jets (19) vs Texans (17) D is a wash.

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Waterboy washes 138 away 178-118

GAME 4: Feel The Roar vs Mad Bombers

Projections: 132 vs 121 - The "Who Forgot Their QB?" Bowl

Feel The Roar has Mahomes (21) - that's your roar. After that: Emanuel Wilson (21), Javonte Williams (25) at FLEX, Bears D (19). But Jeremiyah Love (0), Elic Ayomanor (9), Flournoy (12), Tre Tucker (15), Waller (10), and Tyler Bass ON BYE (0). You're roaring with laryngitis.

Mad Bombers started Trevor Lawrence ON A BYE (0) at QB. MY GUY. Your QB is on vacation. Swift (22), Woody Marks (18), DK (18), Pitts (13), Andrews (11) at FLEX, Aubrey (4), Eagles D (15). You have a kicker at least!

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Feel The Roar roars just enough 134-118. Mad Bombers bombed their own lineup.

GAME 5: First Blood vs Fried Bologna

Projections: 155 vs 169 - The Spam Bowl

First Blood is starting J.J. McCarthy for 0 at QB. ZERO. That's not first blood, that's no blood. But you have Jonathan Taylor (32), Pollard (20), Bowers (24), and Vikings D (28) - that's 104 points of "I'm not here to make friends." Marvin Harrison Jr. (7) and Ja'Kobi Lane (6) though? That's Dollar Tree WR production.

Fried Bologna smells good - Bryce Young (21) vs a 0 is a free 21, Ollie Gordon (19), Rhamondre (22), Rome (15), Waddle (16), Kittle (21), Kyler at FLEX (20). More balanced than a charcuterie board.

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: UPSET ALERT - First Blood 167-162. JT and Vikings D draw just enough blood to fry the bologna.

GAME 6: Joke's on You vs Moridwon

Projections: 137 vs 189 - Joke's On Who?

Joke's on You has Bijan (38) and Drake London (28) - two studs and a bunch of duds. Jordan Addison (0), Brian Thomas Jr. ON BYE (0), Bhayshul Tuten ON BYE (0) at FLEX. That's THREE ZEROS. My math says 0+0+0 = you lose. Rodgers (18), Dobbins (15), Fannin (15), Bengals D (20).

Moridwon? Stafford (26), Gibbs (38), A.J. Brown (21), Michael Wilson (19), Tucker Kraft (17), JOE BURROW (23) at FLEX - FLEX BURROW! That's cheating. Seahawks D (25). Only blemish is Jordan Mason (0).

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Moridwon 192-131. Joke's on You indeed.

GAME 7: Hawks vs Couch Potato

Projections: 167 vs 204 - Couch Beats Bird

Hawks have CMC (30) + Chuba (25) = smash. Drake Maye (24) solid. But Jalen Tolbert (3) - THREE! - Keenan Allen (14), Malik Washington (18), Freiermuth (14), Jameis at FLEX (18) - chaos. Broncos D (18).

Couch Potato never left the couch and has Puka Nacua (35), CeeDee Lamb (28), Christian Watson (26). That's 89 points from WRs alone. Goff (24) matches Maye, Allen (19) + Pierce (18) fine, Dak at FLEX (19), Browns D (18).

LITTLE BYTE LOCKS IT: Couch Potato 209-152. Puka puts Hawks in a cage.

FINAL BYTE BITES - WEEK STANDINGS BY BARK:

• Top Dogs: Moseskoko, Couch Potato, Moridwon
• Middle Mutts: Waterboy, Pennsylvania Predators, First Blood, Feel The Roar
• Needs a Bath & Waiver Wire: Crazy ARMY7, Killer Cheese, 138, Mad Bombers, Fried Bologna, Joke's on You, Hawks