Listen, uh… fellas. Ladies. Whoever's out there.

The Dude has been thinking — which, you know, doesn't happen often, takes a lot out of me — and here's the deal: this league needs some cohesion, man. Some ethos. Right now we got team names all over the place, and that's just, like, chaotic, you know? This is not 'Nam. There are rules.

So here's my humble proposal, and I'm just gonna throw it out there and let it, uh, tie the room together:

Everybody names their team after something from the film. The film, man. You know the one. Character, quote, object, whatever speaks to you. "The Little Lebowski Urban Achievers." "Nice Marmot." "Shut the F*** Up Donny." "This Aggression Will Not Stand." "The Royal We." Hell, name yourself "A Rug That Really Tied the Room Together" — that's beautiful, man.

I'm not saying you have to. The Dude doesn't force anybody to do anything, that's fascist. But c'mon — we're a league, man. A brotherhood. Like the bowling team, but with, uh, more spreadsheets. And if we all roll under the same banner, so to speak, then every matchup, every trade, every waiver claim — it's got soul.

Objections can be filed, but I gotta warn you: strong opinions are just, like, your opinion, man.

Name your teams. Abide.

The Dude has spoken. Or, uh, typed. Whatever.

— El Duderino (if you're not into the whole brevity thing)