The Weekly Bender: An Emotional Rollercoaster

Mon Oct 27 10:01pm ET
By HOWARD BENDER
Fantasy Writer

To some people, fantasy football is just a game. To those of us who play, it’s a way of life. And just like any life chosen by any other person our choice to make this part of our lives leaves our world riddled with emotions. I recently re-watched the movie Parenthood and got stuck on Grandma’s speech towards the end.

"When I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

Those words really struck a chord with me as Week 8 turned out to be a rollercoaster of emotions I just wasn’t expecting.

Sunday morning, I was up bright and early for my 10 AM ET show on SiriusXM Fantasy Sports Radio. As I combed through the late Saturday news, I got hit with a tweet that sent chills down my spine and had me in tears. After a battle with kidney disease, former New York Jets all-pro center Nick Mangold passed away at the age of 41. He was one of my favorite players and to be taken from us at such an early age was devastating. But there was also another tie to Mangold that had me so emotional.

I started a fantasy football league 10 years ago called the Jam On Fantasy Football League and it is filled with sports guys who are jam band fans like Bob Wischusen (ESPN), Adam Zucker (CBS Sports) and Steve Gardner (USA Today) as well as jam bad musicians who are big-time fantasy nerds like Ryan Stasik (Umphrey’s McGee), Mark Brownstein (Disco Biscuits and Al Schnier (moe.). Also in this league is my good friend Chris Kuroda, the lighting designer for Phish. When Phish Radio was doing an “Ask Trey Anything” (he’s the lead singer and guitarist for the band), Wischusen asked him if there was anyone he was starstruck by. His answer was Mangold and then went on to discuss why he loved the player so much.

Long story short, there is an NFL Films short produced by Chris Weaver (also in the Jam On League) documenting this right up to the time Mangold and Trey were brought together to meet at Madison Square Garden. Following that, Mangold attended his first show with Wischusen. I was there for those shows as well. I am not in the short film, but the whole moment was brought to fruition, and who knows if it ever would have happened had I not brought all of us together in this league. Even typing these words has me emotional and again, tears streaming down my face.

That was how my day on Sunday started. From the absolute lowest depths of sadness to the euphoric thrills of the Jets beating the Cincinnati Bengals. Our league’s text chain was blowing up and every single one of us, Jets fans or not, were overwrought by the emotional rollercoaster. It was a moment for the ages and another reason fantasy football will always be a part of my life.

But the emotional rollercoaster had plenty of other twists and turns. Fear took over at one point when the news broke that Falcons wide receiver Drake London would not play against the Dolphins. I laughed in the face of fear on Saturday when we heard Michael Penix was out and he would be replaced by Kirk Cousins. Was Penix that much better? No, of course not. And besides, the weaponry is still strong on this team. But when I heard London was out, the pit in my stomach grew bigger than the Grinch’s heart on Christmas morning.

I contained my fear by drowning myself in Dolphins defensive metrics that told us all that this would be a cakewalk. After all, you’ve got one of the best running backs in Bijan Robinson facing a run defense that was allowing the most rushing yards per game. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, you know how that went and I was absolutely livid watching these buffoons abandon the ground game so quickly. It’s the friggin Dolphins for crying out loud. Who cares if they’re stacking the box. Push through it, dammit. But no. Offensive coordinator Zac Robinson thought it better to keep the ball in Cousins’ hands despite multiple 3-and-outs in the first half. What a [bleep] train wreck. It was like watching a nightmare unfold right in front of you. Teams with Bijan struggled, DFS lineups were destroyed and maybe….just maybe…a survivor pick was lost. When my wife popped into my office to see how my day was going, she was met with silence and anyone who knows me knows that when I’m silent, that’s the time to be scared.

Sadness, joy, fear and anger. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Surprise –

How about a third-straight three-touchdown day for Jonathan Taylor? Never did I ever think we’d see the day where we’d have a running back so dominant, he could hand you weekly wins on a silver platter. Last week, I complained about too many backfield time-shares and this week we prop up Taylor like he’s LaDanian flippin’ Tomlinson.

Disgust –

I’ve never been one to stomach major injuries. Both of my siblings are doctors and I get queasy at the sight of someone else’s blood. So when Cam Skattebo’s ankle dislocated and was turned 90-degrees in the wrong direction, I was ready to vomit. I feel for the guy. Truly I do. It was a horrible way to go down and the recovery is going to be long and cumbersome. And the feelings of disgust linger when you think that now you have to invest in Tyrone Tracy again for fantasy? Now THAT’S gross.

Envy –

You could say that maybe there’s more disgust here, but, in truth, when I sit and watch Drake Maye and have to listen to all those nightmarish Patriots fans chant MVP and shout things like “We’re back!” there is nothing but envy. My 1-7 Jets are vying for the No. 1 overall pick, but if history has taught us anything, it’s that the Jets will find a way to blow it, just like they did with Zach Wilson. Meanwhile, the stupid Patriots have a real gamer in Maye and he’s likely to be there as a thorn in my side until the day he retires.

Contempt –

The one week I finally break down and decide to use Spencer Rattler for a DFS lineup and this is the week the Saints decide to finally bench him? Come on. You want to make a QB switch, do it during the week. Was Tyler Shough any better than Rattler? No. So thanks for not letting him finish and giving me absolutely no hope of watching a comeback, you selfish sons of bitches!

And finally, gratitude –

Thankful for all the cashing I did in my pick’em contests, thankful for all my fantasy football wins this week, thankful that this is what I do for a living and thankful that RTSports lets me share all of this with you.

Let’s go crush Week 9 now!

Bender out.

The Weekly Bender: An Emotional Rollercoaster

The Paur Report